Monday, May 4, 2026

A dish, a dream and a dearly deft drip.

 






Zobar jams his elbow right in the center of the dish. The dish is mounted securely to the fourth inner wall so it's in no danger of breaking. It's a ceremonial dish and was discovered in Italy during the inter-War period by someone who knew Zobar's estranged governess. She had a long-term agreement with the family about an apartment over the garage. After the fire, as she pawed her way through the ashes of what remained of her life, she recalled a dream in which Zobar, dressed as a scarecrow, had a vision of how people would live in the distant future. It was a miracle they could still breathe because life was lived almost entirely under the waters of Lake Michigan. The Indian immigrants who opened news stands on the shore during the Summer vacation had a reason to be worried. They could see it coming from a thousand miles aways. So they decided not to make that mistake again. It would cost them dearly if they failed to make the required adustment. It served them right.



In the end no one was fooled. Not Zobar, not his governess, not even some of the kids in town who raked leaves for pocket change. It appeared even they lacked the room to make a quick turn-around. So they just proceeded as if nothing was wrong. And you know what? Nothing was. Wrong, that is. As long as you looked at it with one eye half-closed. What you'd do is, you'd start your line from a point that was a fair piece away. As you moved closer you'd get shorter by the second, until within a day or so only your squirming would arouse suspicion among the disgraced ballplayers who liked to lounge around under trees that always seemed to be looming. This could get someone injured, or even killed God forbid. Why hasn't anyone told you this yet?





It was when the governess first pretended to be addicted to invisible pills that she and her boyfriend, a hanging 'chad' named Miles Whitcomb, decided to break into Alderwave Veterinary Studios Inc. to look for a key to a stolen ivory box. The box was said to contain the remnants of a photocopy of a newspaper article which could prove moderately embarrassing, especially where the deployment of strategic miscalculation is concerned. At the time some said this sounded like the 'perfect plan'. How wrong they were, though. Because this so-called 'boyfriend' character was soon revealed to lack any kind of innate delicacy. He made all the kids pay him a dollar to swim in the lake even though he was known to be allergic to water. And when the Holiday Season rolled around the next year everyone could clearly see that his wig was made of plastic hair. Someone should really do something. No one is sure exactly what as far as I know. Please stay well. Get plenty of rest. Make of it something to lurk for . . ....


_________________________________

Monday, April 20, 2026

The Cream of the Cop.

 







Had I been presented with a simple wall-hanging and expectations had not grown so uncontrollably through recent iterations of each task-ready bomber's portraiture haspiration, then we all agree that the naysayers who looped about willfully would be all but through in our Southern Forest. Their olfactory senses had declined over the months of squalid appearances by our (by now) second Vice Counsel in as many months. The original notions had not yet suffered the random falling pattern that we would come to expect in each of the seven partitions. I was feeling not a little mulish even though my disk was out for everyone to launch remarks at, but, try as we might, any patently bold retrieval buntum could seem to take the place of gold in our sky of white.


The cream of each cop is spread liberally within the inner brain so as to avoid idle prattling at dinners engaged just outside the perimeter of an unused bridge. What triumphs we could sink our collective teeth into were scaled to contain a breathless monad at Streak Level 4. The wind gives us a clue. It peals like leftover skeem, but our happ just gives them a further embankment on the plug side. Perhaps you've seen to it that an unstained tooth begets a null point when persons in a line least expect it. Therein lurks our supreme advantage: vaporized salt and the tenderest, most approachably nonchalant wind-surfing contestant will endow us with solid skills on the outside. The chance that you will grip your ticket to a faded hall undergoing rancid stage action is one hill I refuse to die on.


In the farthest collection of leaking desk feeblitures our morbid obsession with qualified string-wickets throws a new light on Telluride, Wisconsin traffic fatality stats. Don't say that we asked you to withdraw to a rumpled window cleaner's fabric of dread. If you do, we can promise to throw more than a few bones in the direction that you've consistently failed to cease forgetting. A bit of attractiveness could help prevent poverty within walking distance of my shed. That is where you will find balance. And I will forever live in your debt. Time is short.

___________________________



Monday, April 6, 2026

A Lesson in Neighborliness.

 







A neighbor who has offered to defend our family homestead from the depredations of random bands of rootless pre-pubescent cosmopolitans who, for the time being at least, seem to sweep through our area on a nightly basis, has manifested these weird episodes of manic screaming and furniture breakage to the point where I don't feel I can any longer trust him to perform as the 'vigilant citizen' I once thought him to be. With the exception of a dinner that our kids expropriated from a homeless veteran of the Maltese War, there hasn't been much to complain about lately. Barring an outbreak of terminal memetic aphasia, I don't know when I've been so undone by my wife's struggle to malign a corpulent bugbear or two with whom I've developed a sleep strategy second to none in our known vistas of fantasy prone Communists.


The tramp who's been making a temporary shelter in one of our outbuildings in exchange for pruning the wisterias, has taken a bold stand and refused all offers of hypoconvulsive spectro-therapy to the point where one has to wonder who and what and where's the pine-scented blob around here? For my part, the tidings of evening trickerie and overflowing emotional support ducats have been a boon to my tooth enamel replacement hysteria and a certain despondency has set in among the support staff that seems to rain on parades not yet plotted to honor desecrated holiday-makers the world over. Over and above all that, the  painting on our outflow has reached a tippering bunt that I can't quite tell myself wasn't planned long ago, before our kids' tutors started to sulk. They'll be getting theirs; you can count on it.


And in case anyone in the Capro Support Monstrosity is starting to get their tootsies in a bind about my or anyone's capacity to inveigle a snapshot of prim potency readings from the odd-numbered docket Community School 7, they should rest easy, pop a few pins and settle in for a relaxing evening of prime time television viewing. I predict that in the coming years the study of the Flemish language and its literature will take root and grow like wildfire among today's young adults. I've seen this coming for a long time. You just can't stop this sort of thing once it gets started. People get a 'certain something' in their blood and woe to he (or she) who tries to extract it, whether through strong-arm tactics or gentle persuasion. Or even tickling. That's just how it goes. I'll say it one more time: We're all grown-ups here. This is slipping (not).

____________________________






Saturday, March 21, 2026

We now know who is involved.

 






They taught me how, but not when, to lie. The training was received with a smile not to be noticed by whatever uncomfortable adversary might move into the foreground and admit defeat in today's playground. The love and dignity, as having given our words a stem-frothing aspect, can (and will) no longer hold the wan target aloft, an occasion of plyable toy-wisdom particle fraud. A measure which is always of a unique ratio, is sure to batter in principled duos with the gently rising craft of one so belivid as meets the grace of tofts. The tradnastitive amalgam of trufe, replete inside olleyways abade the wainscotting, is sure to hold dramastic plauditures when easing a measure of cave-like operating injectives, but the wife of our minch-haus, flagrant and taudney, one could not help stressing, the hairline breaching above all whose nose is a shallow victim's paleface perch.



We are given to a wand's purr as the crapid effluvia is seen to dictate each flange's polymerized ovectic ransom. But the trime to a wolferd, adknowledged and fissured to a scrim of fare-thee-won'ts, is draining the pate of frofulent chimps as only Nelson can. But 'why?' is a count we fold, the drippage to pace Onan's wickery puffed stochastic floor. If ever the delay seen in fields should be felt as the disaster it isn't, then my martial plague, attenuated in frisky allotments, will hold a pin to the nape of infamy! A chersh! And feribault trash palates acleft the furbles! We train our own reducers and pick out jaunts with emaciated pleasers, the nub of all solemn ploughshares. Delighted we mask, but a sorry induction of our leaky wigstumps turns the entire village into a stable offering of intrepid histamine scamps.



You have eaten our papers. But our hope is for your filial accretion of a fine marbelized dust. The pelucrid vinitor abvolves crime to a light of weaves. And grow as it must, our dupe is foursquare operational as a blunted mood stems the tribe. The nose you crave is only ever our daily marketing plod, or so one vicious, winsome lad likes to pretend while home is approached with a keening holyferd nightgram of truth. A bezel or three will get you one. Our farmers approve of your likely liminal basking hut. But a brain? That's just too fucking hot!


___________________________



Tuesday, March 17, 2026

Line Management Schema.

 






There is a placement of lines in our local atmosphere that I'd say I was starting to get used to if not for a persistent oily rash inside my second forehead. It's not only the ratio of light to shading, but for the sound-threading itself, especially when it seems to swirl, that my very mentation assumes the status of a negligently perforated wig pattern.


But the disadvantages of making any kind of definitive statement at a time like this is that no one would think it wise to tell me where it could end, or even if a person in my position could be likely to recover a practical reason to maintain a paltry modicum of hardheaded, yet modern, religious affiliation. If all goes as it has been alleged to have been planned, by this time tomorrow I'll be ensconced in seat 32B on Amtrak's Kalthorn Moverm, with Jake and Kathy by my side, a portion of dainty comestibles at the ready and a reliably engrossing selection of reading matter to take my mind off the predicament I can't seem to shake rid of.


It's my name and I'm entitled to it, is all I ever said. Now that the 'professional people' are so involved, it'll be a 'day at the beach' if I can ever see my way straight again to stare a false God in the mouth and smile without leaning into a torpid, if sultry, breeze. It's because of the trim that was applied to my standing field that I find this stigmatized atmosphere so impressive. A wave of fealty has been shown to engage folks like me in a grimy, indigent spree of wisdom theft at distance.



The program begins when we are shown to our personalized crates. Even when the likely announcement is made that everything we need will be placed neatly within, a rising sense of incompletion will hold center stage at each non-professional tournament I'm forced to attend. Despite what some of the younger readers may choose to believe, when I was a kid this wasn't how things generally went. For starters, each suspiciously telltale line would be followed to its very end. Try that today and see where that gets you! You won't be disappointed, I'm sure! But even now, with the ever rising ring of phagistry overwhelming this very continent, there is still hope that a fear of waitlessness will usher in a New Era of Sun in Our Brain. It won't be soon enough. Have a good lunch. Please stop it.


____________________

Tuesday, February 24, 2026

This is NOT about 'burning hand syndrome'.

 







She has reported a steadily burning hand at or above a suspicious notch adjacent to the three-sided wall. Yes, an excuse is always available, but we are also aware of her tendency to pad results in expectation of candied, yet removable, dollops deposited on her exposed slip. I make of her what I will, but that doesn't stop feeble-minded service personnel from drawing their own conclusions, no matter how frenzied. Everyone has noticed a transition being called forth, yet no one is powerless to stop it. They  wouldn't want to anyway. If anyone asks about my assistant, they will be fed a story about him desiring to spend more time with his family. He has no family, just many genetic enemies. And, they play for keeps. I see no reason why they should not also receive an invitation to our Summer Event. When one of them is observed slipping silently into a position of superlative compromise, it will be our cue to link arms in a futile gesture of invasive solidarity. Ho-hum.


Has a person assuming your position of autonomous deception ever been known to look askance at the endurance statistics of underserved gantry clods whenever they see fit to form gigantic, if no longer visible, circles in a less-than-praiseworthy manner? We just don't think it's a coincidence that a known individual in hyper-colonial dress would go so  far as to think twice when making a abrupt about-face, thereby leaving one of his most precious hebephrenics in the dust to scrounge for scrumptious comestibles in spades. And this doesn't begin to account for a 'certain someone's' lazy eye when a person of dubious girth begins to water her garden with all the grace of a viciously tattooed leprechaun of some distinction. It just goes to show you, me and everyone else besides, what can be accomplished with even a modicum of grit and bile in all the right places. I stood her up in the corner, and now she wants to eat my brains. Go figure.


A standardized account of quotidian fading is all that's on offer from our less-than-sanguine Junior Petty Officer [JPO] Martin Dulmquif. It seems he prefers to just lump in everything under one and the same roof and see what transpires. I will go to my grave incomparably mystified by his indomitable odor profile. It's the kind of thing which undulates through all our personal petrie dishes, to the point where only an executive of a major non-profit has any business attempting egress in the late afternoon hours, if that. I have it on good authority that only the barest link in the chain of causation would be enough to forge an air-tight esplanade when one or more endogenous miscreants decide to get a very furry ball rolling for good. From the looks of it, you yourself may have been spotted wolfing down our latest tranche of contested petting results. If so, that would be a permanent black mark against your name in the precincts of barely adapted kehoes. If it would help, you can be added to our list. Please let my girl know. And no, she won't bite. (She will bite.)

______________________