This is the title which some of you have requested. You're welcome.

 

She keeps us to herself while tearing up. I live in a one-room house near a school yard. The companion who we share in common is not one to compete for our affections. It dithers and it dathers, but still we behave as old friends have come to expect. 'Circumspection' doesn't begin to describe our approach. On the other hand, if either of the three of us feels neglected or otherwise held apart from our fellows, all we need to do is issue a proprietary rejoinder, wait a few minutes and then resume our studies at the field house under the guidance of experienced mental laborers. Their own coatings still hold clues to the events leading up to a precarious climax. No one is the fonder for having held any old package for this long. Quite the contrary, in fact. I try not to go there much anymore on the slight chance of a not-so-random rebuke. But then again, why should this cause alarm at the end of a long and gruesome day?

It's plain to me now that if I leave her under the care of a loathesome surgical resident, I will only have myself to blame if she feels justified in scrimping on the deployment of strategic affections. A photograph of a minor child in need of psychological assessment is what brought us together in the first place. This was years ago, before either of my parents learned to drive. Yes, that minor child in the photo is yours truly. But no, you continue to be quite mistaken in your sweeping assumptions. It wasn't for nothing that when we first moved to the Coast, I made it known that anyone who issued a statement in her presence could expect a major winnowing in the months and years to come. And, in case that wasn't clear enough, I made it a practice to expose the remaining spouses to some harmless bacteria to see how they liked it. By now we've agreed to patch up the garage we share and ask someone to make an offer. If I am prodded by any more false alerts, you might try asking me to sit lengthwise in an Army Surplus tent. I've heard they're having a clearance downtown. Please look into it.

I've already glued a surfeit of pages into our handbook. These will comprise the addendum that so many have found lacking from the opening boomlet. But, it's very important to tread carefully so as not to offer false comfort to defective stragglers. They could come at you with all manner of hooks and scythes. In the event that we decide to purchase a vacation home in which to conduct 'the experiment', we both intend to keep ourselves at arm's length in the expectation of another penitent breaking out first. There's one particular party who excites our instinct for survival. He's obviously the kind of bloke who trods roughly and garrots a big wimp. But even if our postural learning curve has flattened to a bare incline, why would it be anyone's business if and when we see fit to settle our affairs in the most  public way imaginable? It's not for nothing that the morning trend line is all that people talk about anymore. They just can't get it out of their system, is all I'd like to avoid saying. But, if anybody sees me scurrying through a Carbonetta HQ while the others avert their eyes, then you'll know that my work is far from complete. Please approach the bench.  

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