It was all I could do to get her to let me follow her at a distance of about twenty-five feet into and through a passageway built and operated by the Department of Notional Outcomes. Once she realized that I was the type of person for whom the term 'gallivanting' had little meaning or appeal, she decided to undo a sacrosanct floppy overprinted mitten from her underutilized forequarter and attempt to feed me lines which might later come in handy when I was obliged to wrestle one of the three Beauregards to the ground. They would frequently wile away their days in underused pitch-black Osterzones while we considered where to have lunch once our kids were released from Juvenile Detention. Instead, they had broken from their heritage and initiated a balodorous campaign of wondrous impunity which took everyone by complete surprise. I wasn't the least bit worried about being able to hold their Coach inside a crappy metal ball, because I knew he could swim away at the drop of a hat.
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How you 'splain a missing post? I wrote it, I read it, I sent it and now it is gone. It was in reference to your Hogan's Heroes TV show post. I guess it wasn't important and I am totally unable to reconstruct it since it came from whatever my brain was spewing on that particular day. That's all gone now. Such a waste, but today is another day much like the other days that came before and similar to the ones that have not yet made it down here. This too shall pass, as they say. So.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm not mistaken, I mentioned Hogan's Heroes in my reply to your last comment. So, possibly you wrote a response to my reply and neglected to click on 'publish' and it was lost. Don't worry, I'm totally aware of everything you think, feel, do or say, so it wasn't lost on me. And yes, I really do appreciate what you wrote. It was uniquely perceptive. I've asked all my people to read it in the hopes that they might one day 'get a clue' so to speak. There's hope for them yet,.... maybe...
ReplyDeleteWell, you certainly put my mind to rest. I feel better already. Not that I felt worse or even bad so that's the way it is. All is forgiven if not lost and what goes around comes around. It is what it is. You are in control of your own destiny as long as you don't take the low road. Nothing is un-fixable, with a few exceptions of course. Life is made up of strange moments that can never be reconstructed in the exact order. But who would want that? This life experience is one to be appreciated and all beings deserve to be cherished (with a few exceptions). So my advice is to eat ice cream sandwiches and M&Ms and Haribo Gummies (the sour ones) and take a walk in the rain and get your head wet. And sleep, sweet, sweet sleep. Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you, if you're young at heart. I heard the news today, Oh boy, about a lucky man who made the grade and though the news was rather sad, well, I just had to laugh...She's a good girl, loves her mama, loves Jesus and America too...How many roads must a man walk down...Johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine, I'm on the pavement thinking about the government...Ayemen, ayemen, ayemen, ayemen ayemen Hallelujah!
ReplyDeletePlease excuse me if this is 'out of line', but, would I be correct in noting that you seemed to indulge in just a tiny bit of plagiarism in this comment? Perhaps it was all unconscious on your part? Should I have my attorney contact Paul McCartney and seek a prompt resolution? Maybe the only reasonable course is for me to defect into the loving embrace of His Excellency Kim Jong Un? I'll think of something or else I'll just imagine thinking of something. Or I might just pretend to imagine something. Which would be best?
DeleteOut of line, surely. The words in my head come out when they do sometimes...old memories, lost thoughts, future wishes, happier times, vivid dreams, lost loves, sad nights, true stories, total bullcrap, imagined worlds, rainy afternoons, Philly cheese steaks, Bob's fried clams, mom's scalloped potatoes. So Sir Paul can go fly a kite (not meant as a racist term).
ReplyDeleteI've never encountered the notion of 'go fly a kite' being some kind of racist dog whistle, or even a bullhorn. But now that you've made me aware of it, I can only conclude that you are trying to garner the sympathy and stoke the fears of the vast and growing readership of this extremely influential blog.
DeleteI have news for you, Sir or Madam, the audience of this blog (about twelve point five million souls as per current stats) is neither for sale nor up for your or anyone's silly games of divide and conquer, delay and deny, foment and infantilize, rinse and repeat, cut and dry or any other kind of metaphorical chaff that you or anyone might deploy to muddy the water, stoke the fire or embalm the inebrients.
During all my years in the Armed Forces, we always had a saying. I bet you'd really like to know what it was, right? Well, sorry, no. It's classified. So there!
You can't fool me. I know all of the "military" classified "so called" secrets and "sayings". Not only that, your mind is so freaking easy to read, I can see right through your attempts to make me wonder if I am even alive. You have a talent, no doubt about that, but I have a few years on you and those years were my formative ones where I learned to separate the corn from the cob, so to speak. My father knew the names of all the cabinet members in JFK's administration AND he could quiz me all day and night on the state capitals. That is why, today, I remember all 50 as well as being able to place every state on the map in its proper location. While these things might seem unimportant and weird in today's educational system I believe it has expanded my experiences far beyond North Dakota. And if that wasn't enough, I know the words to America the Beautiful. I know this might be a bit much for you to absorb on such short notice but the facts don't lie, contrary to what 43% of our fellow adult contemporaries choose to believe. I am on the lookout for my next adventure should the outcome of next week's game disappoint my senses. All suggestions will be respectfully considered. Peace.
ReplyDeleteI would never question the fact that your Father was acting in good faith, but I regret to inform you that there are in fact NO 'state capitals'. Not only that, there have never been any so-called 'states'. Have you ever been to a place called 'North Dakota'? No? I rest my case. These are all made up places. Made up by who? By ME, ya ninnie! I went back in time and hypnotized your Dad (by the way, he was a very good subject!) and gave him all the false info.
DeleteSome people just don't want to face the truth, ugly or otherwise. Other people like to sit in their car and eat a 'special' sandwich. Still others enjoy the simple pleasure of folding a piece of paper. Try it sometime. You just might learn something. Or maybe not. Do the math!
I used to love math, strange as that might sound. Whatever happened to me? I don't want to know.
ReplyDelete