We kept arguing about whose turn it was. That would be my sister's boyfriend, his golf partner's stage manager, and her (the stage manager's) weekend house-sitter. As per my 'bitter' nature, I insisted on going last. Every time I made a move in that direction, the house-sitter would get this 'crazy' look in her eyes and start to hum very softly as if there was nothing more to be gained from an insightful dialogue. While I sincerely wanted to take that as a personal affront, I knew that if I could make definitive inroads on their icy resolve, I'd stand a chance to flip the whole situation on its furry little head. That way, if any liability was soon to be assessed, I'd be free and clear to get out of this thing in one piece, or at least what passes for that in the 'frozen zone' which we call, simply, 'home base'.
Now that you've had time to think about it, would you say that I did the right thing or is the preponderance of opinion that I was my usual selfish self? I really want to know and your honest estimation would go a long way toward helping me dispose of a very troublesome partner. His name is Vince Margulies (not his real name) and we've been together for what seems like hours. He has this way of signaling to invisible waitresses while we're shoveling shit in the backyard. For my part, I know that he can't be trusted with the time of day, let alone the defeat of an implacable foe. If I see him pestering his own fingers one more time while we drive to the station, I think I may be due for a major coronary incident involving law enforcement from multiple jurisdictions.
Here's what I'd like to know: why am I always the 'bad guy' here? I mean, it's not as if I haven't got time to make adjustments on the fly when someone looks straight through to the other side as if all that stood between us was a tidy disagreement over price differentials. What will it take to get you to understand that if I leave something behind in a third room, it will occur to absolutely no one that you were somehow involved? In fact, somewhere here on my desk, I have a very reliable pen and ink illustration which testifies to that very fact. If you don't return the info-sheets to my office within the week, I'll have some major explaining to do. Which won't be fun. Or easy. Or even particularly interesting. Don't you think that now would be the right time to 'come clean'? It can't hurt that your name isn't Les Wittinger,.. or is it?
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All I can say at this precise moment is Yowee, Wowee, Howee and Jeez. I might have more to add at a later date since I have always enjoyed adding. Subtracting is also pretty awesome as well as dividing once in a while..my mood shifts sometimes in those circumstances. Situations determine the outcomes and incomes of the particular events, or in this case non-events. I'll keep you posted when I get more sticky notes to write on. All I have are the little 1" x 1" yellow ones and I am awaiting delivery of the larger sizes. I believe I ordered the variety pack so that I can be prepared for whatever circumstance that arises. It should work to my benefit, and ultimately yours.
ReplyDeleteIt's a statement of 'pure fact' that there's a person here at the compound who has exactly what you claim to be looking for. The only problem is, he's gone missing since a year ago Tuesday. He's wearing a yellow hat and green corduroy pants and answers to the name 'Mr Fimptler'. Also, he walks with a decided limp in both legs. Normally he carries a large tree branch aloft and always flies 'economy'. His favorite sports team is the ST Louis Choirboys (go figure!). That should be enough to get you started. If you get hung up on petty details, please get in touch with us here at the compound. We may be able to scrounge up a booklet or two. This won't be the first time, in case you're wondering. As if! HA!
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