Responsibility Begins at Home.

 

Yes, I am the responsible party. The twigs will only escape a swift embossing if someone who truly merits prime consideration can be persuaded to encourage like-minded adults to forgo any kind of treatment at all. A peaceful transition is all we ever asked for. Instead, what did we get? Just another trunkful of hamfisted rigamarole, if you ask me. All of us tried to bed down in a classic 'good-night' position out of viewing range of punctual firefights the world over. I did my bit and got my duds out of the container lickety-split. The wife was all a-flutter but I made sure to take her with me when I turned in my paper. It said right on the cover that anyone who felt that now would be a good time to savor a run-of-the-mill snack should be certain that their head is firmly secured on the telltale side of a randomized penalty box. Only the crew chief admitted to feeling utterly shattered by your misapplied subterfuge.

It was only when we arrived at a prominent lakeside fontanelle that we finally began to get our bearings and feel comfortable enough to risk making our presence known to someone at a higher station in life. In other words, who do you suppose would take it upon themselves to provide a decisive advantage in lieu of a galvanized metallic control penis? I felt it was only right to have a few choice words with the maitre d' and ask him why he appeared to be strapped for any reasonable facsimile of a 'good answer'. He chose not to play ball, so around and around we went. Finally, to get my point across, I bit his left index finger. Sure, there was some bleeding but it really wasn't all that bad, all things considered. In fact, it was really quite a relief to finally 'let my hair down', what little of it there is..HA!

Once our vital signs returned to normal, it seemed safe to turn the lights on once and for all. And, when we did that, I was not a little bemused to find that my precious darling had taken up where she left off when I first got word from the Coast. None of our religious training prepared us for the harmful breeze which now played us like a three-dollar Soviet violin. I was sitting there not a little perplexed by the finer points of trading petulant proposals with non-responsive caterers. This was because any day now I'd be asked to leave everyone who never meant anything to me in the lurch. It was like bringing a stickwad to a lunch fight, if you get my drift. The original blattering process began early the next day. I was on the hook for forty-five tunable coatings and my brother had eyes for the lunatic fringe. I took that as a veritable permission slip to appoint myself Honorary Chairperson Emeritus and skip town with all of five hundred big ones. If anyone ever asks you if it would be a good idea to effect a respectable mien while launching reprehensible mash notes over the transom, please call on your many years in the sublingual terrycloth mafia and offer your remaining parts to an over-eager maltrose magnate and just be done with it! Nobody will ever ask about your preferred sectual position. It just wouldn't be fair! (Say it.)

__________________________