Itemized Non-Recoverables on Parade!

 

⦁ A plain solid brown oak desk. 

⦁ An appropriate lamp with curved fittings. 

⦁ Some labeled frames. 

⦁ A large black cannister. 

⦁ An envelope containing a five rupee note. 

⦁ Seventeen blackened wires of varying lengths.

⦁ A picture of Morgan Dumont. 

⦁ His birth certificate.

⦁ An oval rensaleer.

⦁ A cooking kit to be used on moderate rail excursions.

⦁ My personal specimen jar. 

⦁ A six year old weight chart belonging to a chaperone I once dated.

⦁ And finally, her (the chaperone's) beige hair system.

You, or someone close to you in abbreviated temperament, might think that the above list is some kind of 'zany' concoction. Nothing could be further from the truth. I, for one, never thought for even one instant that composing this list could cause those under my care to lose their place. But, when it comes to unknown parties and their inherent peculiarities, anyone who tells you that their method is able to keep various onlookers rapt with tendentiousness is trying to sell you a bill of goods. For example, where does it say that one person out of five is likely to be functionally arrested in their ineffectual development by age 37? If anyone reading this tries to tell us that they saw it in a very important book, then that person will have some major explaining to do. And, just so you know, it won't be some petty affair where a guy sidles up to you between courses, loosens his tie, almost stops breathing and then just 'lets loose'. No. It'll be a full-bore official briefing pattern. A nominee will be designated, a type of water will be approved and then one of the least dependable witnesses since we started this thing will be foisted on the general public. Without a trace of irony, I might add.

By the time it's all over, in the waning hours of the thirty-fifth, no one will be sure that they got what they came for. Only one curmudgeon is likely to stand on personal privilege and issue a blistering jeremiad, just to see if a bell tolls, and who hears it without consulting a visiting chart-topper. Even when one of us expresses their undying love for piecemeal afflateurs, the only secret labeler liable to notice will be the one knock-out who everyone is sure has skin in the game. And that won't be anyone who's ever bothered to see a qualified person for an informal look-see. Why? It's because they've already had their skin tested multiple times. There weren't any signs then and there won't be any now, just so you know.

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