Yet Another Reason to Remain Calm.

A patient has informed me that he will withdraw from our agreement. Even so, as I preserve an irreplaceable scrap of paper from his forebear's estate, there's a subtle tickling sensation curling about my tongue and the tissue specimen has sprouted a rare and invaluable fungal treat in a now discarded refrigerator that I keep on the property, mostly just to scare away the kids at this time of year. Formerly, if I had driven straight through to Columbus, Ohio, just to get my 'head in the game', I'd have submitted a motion to the Touchstone Board detailing my involvement in the assassination of the Notorious B.I.G. This was to be my veritable 'Jupiter moment', but during the final installment of our show I suffered a near fatal brain aneurysm while I escorted a Lesbian psychologist on a tour of Malta and greeted the day as if it had just begun.

As my wife's condition worsened, I approached Coach Donohue, wondering if this time would be like all the others. He would feign a deep-seated fear of foreign made metallic objects and I would let on that I knew better. The whole situation would end in a draw. But the sad fact was (and is), I couldn't draw my way out of a wet paper bag. One time when I was still in training a friend misplaced a desk lamp in a warehouse that I was no longer renting for my creepy art projects. We were on the cusp of a magnificent trade agreement but no one could seem to figure out just how our codicils would be abrogated. For that, most folks would call in a professional. But that's now how the game was played in that era, at least not in Southeastern quadrant of the Northern Midwest. There's one thing I was sure of, though, and that's that everything was 'up for grabs'  in a way which leaves most folks with an uncomfortable taste in the back of their throats.

If ever there was a need for lozenges, this was it. Why was I sweating so much when all I had to do was ask a girl if she wanted to get married? Even though I'd only seen her picture in a magazine I picked up at the dentist's office, I felt sure my time had come. Turns out it had gone. Where, you ask? Right up my alley, that's where! 

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