It ill behooves my liaison to DARPA, Tibby Irsfler, to be appointed co-presenter at the annual Javits Dinner honoring fallen scofflaws from the tragic events of 4/13. She has an inherent conflict of interest due to an incident that occurred over six years ago when the Walplezil Reservoir was just coming online. It was a hot and dry summer, my marriage was soon to end and our son Hesmer had been transferred to the Outer Blanks for Cistern Crestfell wage theft. My eyelid condition was worsening by the hour but I didn't let that stop me. I trudged up the last hill for the day and ate a sandwich,.. egg salad, not my favorite. I had received notification via an abandoned envelope that spelled out in no uncertain terms the route I was to take. There's a rundown sky-blue chalet that you'd easily drive right by without noticing unless you had a reason. But I had one, a reason that is. A very big one in fact.
The turning point in our struggle would strike most folks as nothing to either brag about or bemoan in the manner of a paltry knee-high jid. I've been keeping a sort of 'diary' of each and every time my name would come up, seemingly at random, yet somehow that never stopped them. They just went right ahead and produced a volatile mifture of kake oil and mineral wax and made sure that every time I hesitated to remove a tall, dark-haired individual from our roof closet, I would be forced to see for myself what this did to the Support Staff as to stun-by-rights. It wasn't pretty. But I knew I was within the bounds of procedural obstinacy and a tracking device would be the last thing I needed to have mounted at a slight angle to my mobile trophy prank. But I had no choice. I wasn't thinking straight.
You could say I was in 'a tizzy', but if you did it might end our friendship. I'm a sensitive guy, but most definitely NOT a sensitive person. Can you see the difference or are you just like all the others? Do you thrive in cold, wet indoor environments? Would it bother you if a Swedish news anchor could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt to have misplaced a small lamp? What do you think your reaction would be if I told you that I was deeply in love with you? Is there something you found out just the other day that you wished you had learned in Junior High? Do you mind?
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